Getting it Write

Every author must have this debate with themself: How much spirituality do I include in my story?

I had this debate while working on my latest novel. See, my Christian publisher is based in the Midwest where the population is largely influenced by Dutch settlers who'd been fleeing religious persecution. Thus, their readers tend to be more traditionally churched. While I, on the other hand, have a lot of flight attendant friends who want to read my romcom about flight attendants, and their backgrounds range from Muslims with arranged marriages to India’s Sikhism (New to me. You’re sick?) to Catholicism embraced by the Mexican Mafia to French partiers to Mormons who left the church when they came out of the closet. How does one write with such a diverse audience in mind?

AI generated idea of what my upcoming flight attendant romcom series should look like.

I’ll be honest and admit my first draft failed miserably. I was more concerned with getting the unique world of flight crew accurate. My critique partner said I nailed the comedy, and she suggested some tweaks for the romance. But when it came to the spiritual aspect, I really didn’t know what I was trying to say.

I fixed what I could and submitted it to my publisher, just glad I’d made my deadline. And I think it would have been fine as a clean romance for a publisher who doesn’t also call themselves a ministry. But that was not my case. In fact, my editor suggested I include a message on “purity.”

Now, if you’re from a Christian background, you’re probably aware of the purity movement from my generation with books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Though it had great intentions, it inadvertently caused harm for girls who were taught/believed their value depended on virginity and they were responsible for keeping the male population from lusting after them. In the end, even the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye got a divorce and started teaching a class on deconstructing one’s faith.

Adding fuel to that dumpster fire, the exact same week my editor made her suggestion, my husband and I visited a friend’s church where the whole message centered on purity, but more from the angle that men needed to protect women as the weaker vessel. Then during the benediction, “the wayward” were prayed for by name from the pulpit, and I recognized one of the names. I’d met “the wayward” woman before her wedding day and knew she’d been prevented from being alone with her fiancé until they were man and wife. Now they are divorced, which could be why she’s considered “wayward” I guess (no offense, I'm divorced too), but if the goal of their purity message was to create strong marriages, it had failed.

So where did that leave me? What could I possibly say about purity that would make the concept inviting (or at least less judgy) to coworkers who confide in me that they’d had a one-night stand with the deadheading pilot on our flight?

Someone has been hiding these on our airplanes. Because y'all need a little Jesus.

First, I wrote to my “wayward” acquaintance. I asked how she was doing and let her know we’re all wayward. Because that’s pretty much the foundation of needing Jesus, right? She said she’s doing great, which I’m really glad to hear, and also if she’s ever not doing great, I hope she’ll remember that I care about her either way.

Second, I wrestled. Wrestling is hard. And it’s also an important part of figuring out what I believe in order to actually have something real to offer. I didn’t know what I wanted to write, but I knew what I didn’t want to write.

As a teen, my parents gave me a book designed to preach purity. The heroine had a boyfriend, and when he wanted to have sex, he held up a condom and asked, “Is it time for this?” She turned him down, then he went on to be infected with AIDS. I rolled my eyes.

There are no guarantees in life. Waiting until you’re married to have sex won’t ensure a happy marriage, and having sex outside of wedlock definitely doesn't automatically give you AIDS. God’s not a genie in a bottle, and if that’s why you’re joining a church or converting religions, you’re going to be disappointed.

Life is messy. The Bible is messy. Everyone messes up—from Moses to David to Peter. A friend who used to be Islam said Muslims don’t understand why the Bible includes all the embarrassing stories. (Why are we okay with our leaders being so flawed?) Ironically, that’s the beauty of it. If there is hope for them, then there’s hope for us. There's no formula. Otherwise, we wouldn’t need faith.

My spirituality is about a relationship with God, which is the very essence of what I write. I've studied healthy relationships. Finally, I had something to say.

Rather than focus on the misunderstood, off-putting term of purity, I focused on boundaries. I claimed that real love would rather lose someone than harm them. And I used airline analogies to do it.

Everyone knows intoxicated passengers aren’t allowed on planes because it’s dangerous to both them and others. The altitude affects people differently, and that’s especially true with drunks. They’ve been known to try to access the cockpit or open an emergency exit in flight. It’s why passengers aren’t allowed to drink their own alcohol. Not because airlines want to make money (though they do, of course), but because we need to be able to cut passengers off from overindulging. So, here’s my analogy:

Rather than keep an inebriated individual on the plane to make them happy and make more money, the pilot has them removed to keep them safe.

I compare this to what God does for us. Starting with the Garden of Eden.

Then I compared Jesus to that drunk friend’s buddy who could stay on the flight but takes his friend’s penalty upon himself by getting off the plane to help him sober up and rebook the next flight.

From there, I explore the dating world with an emphasis on loving someone enough to let them go. And I think it worked. My editor called my changes “fantastic,” and I can’t tell you how relieved I am. My story is better because it includes not only the heavens but heaven.

I believe this to be true about all novels. I recently read two mainstream novels involving airlines. One was a thriller with the threat of terrorists on an airplane, and it naturally mentioned prayer. Because yikes! The other centered around a woman who predicted the deaths (age and cause) of everyone on an airplane, which came from (spoiler alert) her abilities in math. Math existed before our time, which means it had to come from somewhere else. Some Creator/Designer/Fortuneteller. Wow.

Whether writers are believers or not, it’s a mistake to avoid our spirituality. Like how a kid once pointed out that middle-grade novels don’t include Sundays because authors want to avoid the possible mention of church. It’s a real part of our existence, so leaving it out would be a lie.

Becca Meek showed me where they hide their Christian fiction on my overnight in Spokane.

That said, our stories should not be sermons. Here are some ideas that help keep me from being preachy. I’m paraphrasing to capture the essence of what I learned.

1.      Your story should not tell readers what to think but give them something to think upon. –Brandon Sanderson

2.      The darker your black moment, the more powerful your story of overcoming. It must seem like the other side is going to win. –Story by Robert McKee

3.      Both the hero and the villain are wounded. The villain hides their wound with evil while the hero finds healing through self-sacrifice. –Writing a Damn Good Suspense Novel

4.      Your message has to overcome the most powerful argument against it. Otherwise, it’s trite. Weak. Ineffective. (Like a condom with a plot hole.) –Story by Robert McKee (Except for the condom part. That was me because I tend to take analogies too far.)

I shared on social media how my editor called my edits “fantastic,” and one follower cheered me on, at which point I admitted, “It NEEDED fantastic edits.” And I still have rounds of edits to go.

My line editor and proofreaders will all be coming from their own unique backgrounds and thus see my story from different perspectives, in which case I’ll have to do more wrestling. Whether you’re a writer or not, I hope you do some wrestling of your own. I hope we all grow stronger together (even when wrestling with each other's ideas).

I want to end with one last piece of advice about spirituality in novels. It comes from Beth Moore who is now writing fiction as well as her renowned Bible studies.

She tweeted something like, “Someone said they don’t agree with everything Beth Moore says, and I don’t either! I’m learning and growing, which means that sometimes I’ll look back and realize I got things wrong.”

Same, girl.

We’re trying. That’s what religion does. It’s a variety of failed attempts. Yet somehow, God meets us there.

I don’t include a spiritual thread in my books because I have it all figured out. Pretty much the opposite. I’m including a spiritual thread to point toward Jesus as being the author and perfector of our faith. Only He gets it all right.